Imagine a brain in a cage. After a few days it get brave and examines it’s cage. A week and it’s trying to figure out how it got there. Another and it is trying to figure out how to get out. Mine has now reached the point where it SCREAMS at me to set it free. That’s how it feels when i don’t blog. Blogging for me always has been, and for a long time will continue to be, a form of therapeutic release. Living with Bi-Polar Disorder is hard, and one of the few ways I have been able to cope is writing out everything in my head and organizing it. I type much faster than I write… and I have the luxury of rewording things until they say what they should. That’s what leads me here. My blog. So beware, because what you read in an update post is generally random, and usually doesn’t sound the way it should. There is just too much to say.
Dealing with my father-in-law passing away is still at the forefront, though it has gotten easier. There are a lot of things that still make me cry, like songs and finding his old things. His old closet is the coat closet now, and every time you open it you catch a whiff of what he smelled like. Which leads me to a complete change, and honestly we didn’t see it coming. We moved in with my Mother-in-law about 6 weeks ago. We had always had the plan that she would move in with us, but after some consideration and careful thought and conversation we came to the conclusion that with the housing market the way it is it would be much better to move into her house. She was alone for almost 1 month. It was so hard for her, and I’m so very grateful for the insight my husband had to discuss this option. It has been so much better for all of us. Even the kids are thriving, and who wouldn’t with a huge back yard and a small town. I’m so excited for the spring and summer months that are coming, and for all of the potential the home and the family has here. I kind of feel like it was a leap of faith, we put everything we had in God’s hands. It’s been hard, but we have never been closer as a family. And I have faith that things will work out the way they are meant to.
I finished my Associates Degree! I don’t remember if I posted that before or not… But I finally did it. I can’t describe the sense of pride I have gained for being the first person in my family to finish a degree. I will be finished with my Bachelors next fall. I’m almost done! Hooray!
Since moving I have had more and less time/space for crafty things. I have been crocheting a LOT and recently taught myself how to knit. It’s easier than I thought it would be. I am working on a few things for the Etsy shop now. I am going to wait until I have a bit of inventory to list anything though. I also have been sewing, not nearly as much as when I had my own sewing space… but better things. Does that make sense? Sorta. LOL I guess I have finished more projects. That’s more what I mean. Here are some of the little shoes I have made, and I will be making LOTS more for the shop!
Photography has been insanely busy since moving. I have done 3 huge sessions and have a 4th one coming up soon. I’ve been so busy, I have barely had time to do it all. But I absolutely love every second of it. 🙂 There is nothing in this whole world that makes me happier than taking photos and sitting down to edit them. I love being able to change my focus and create something wonderful that someone will love for years to come. Oh and I have had some big design projects, like helping my wonderful friend at Little Mookie with her new line of custom couture Purses and other various lovely things. She is so super talented, and I love her work so much. I wish sooooo much that I could sew half as well as she does. ❤
We got the first snow fall on the morning of the 5th, and spent about an hour outside sledding. More than anything, it was Scott pulling the kids SLOWLY across the yard on a snow tube. LOADS of fun. Until about 9:30. Chelsea got on the tube for her first ride (the two of us girls took longer to get ready than the boys did, like usual) and as she turned a corner she managed to hit a stump, pop the tube, and flip herself over. In the process she hit her hand on the stump somehow. She cried and I couldn’t understand her at all. So I talked her down, and figured she had just crashed. Then we took her gloves off. Holy frijoles… her knuckles on her right hand swelled so badly! We rushed right over to the emergency room, and they took x-rays and gave her ice for her hand. It looked AWFUL! Here is a photo I took in the car on the way to the ER.
After getting the X-ray the Doc said he was surprised at how she didn’t break anything with the amount of swelling in her hand. They called it a contusion and discharged her after putting on a boxer splint on her hand. We followed up on the 11th and everything was healing nicely. Still a good amount of swelling, and her hand is awfully bruised, but she can move it now. It looks much worse as far as color, the whole top half of her hand is bruised black and blue. Poor kid. But she is a great sport about the whole thing, and she has been good about not picking at it even though it’s starting to itch now.
Elgen has grown so much! It’s insanity really, and he went in for testing for the preschool here at the beginning of the month. I’m anxiously awaiting the news… Part of me hopes he can go cause he would love it, and the interaction would be so much more fun than being stuck here with me all day. But I’m sad to think he will be gone for part of the day, and I will miss having him and his amazing imagination around all the time.
On another note, I am horribly addicted to Pinterest. And I have pinned ideas for everything. My husband will probably have a cow when he sees my new list of projects. 🙂 But they are useful projects and beneficial to just about everyone. Come follow me on there if you like, the link is to my boards.
In the past few weeks, being here with my mother-in-law and losing my father-in-law… I have felt a strong need for faith. More specifically a need for having the influence of the Lord in my life. So we started home evening with the kids, and we have been reading scripture, and attending Church more regularly. I’m so super grateful for that, and as a family I don’t really remember ever feeling closer to each other. Prayer is a powerful thing, and mine have been really long lately. I have such a sense of gratitude, and feel the need to express it frequently.
The only thing I have had any struggle with lately has been babies… I’m ready for another one. Scott says he is ready too, but apparently the lord has another thing in mind. It’s frustrating, but having faith in god also means faith in his timing. And that’s hard to do when we never really had to try with the first 2 kids we had, and we have been trying for so long this time. I try not to get frustrated, but some days are easier than others. I’m sure that to someone that has had little to no luck with this that it seems silly for me to get frustrated with such a thing when we already have 2, and I can understand that to a degree. I don’t know how to explain it other than to say that there is some kind of void… and it feels strange. It seems like everyone I know is having babies. Even people who don’t necessarily want them. I just have to have faith, and trust that there is a greater reason/cause that I don’t know anything about.
In the meantime, I am going to be making more things. Knitting & crocheting hats, making baby shoes, and finishing up christmas presents.